My Friends Excluded Me

When your friends have purposely excluded you, it may mean something is up, or not!

Before you decide that your friends are purposely excluding you in their plans, take a step back and see if your expectations are reasonable. People don’t always get invited to certain events every single time, and when they don’t it certainly isn’t anything personal. Your friends may have felt that you were too busy or wouldn’t enjoy the activity.

Last week it was a friend’s birthday, my friends organized a present for her and didn’t noticed I wasn’t part of it. I’m not going to point out any fingers to the person responsible for this act, but I would usually stay shut and would just let it pass through my pain. I didn’t do that this time, this actually hurt because it meant they don’t think of me as a close friend like I do. It’s good to accept how you’re feeling and express it, don’t let it fade away thought time it only adds resentment to your life. I expressed how I felt about being excluded form my own group of friends and went well, but now I know my friends aren’t what I thought they were and decided to move one and be with the people who actually care about being my friend and not making me feel hurt and like I don’t matter.

This inspired me to keep writing and let people know how I felt and some tips I learned about friendship expectations.

There are certain instances when friends may leave you out of their plans. These include:

  • When two of your good friends get together. It is not uncommon for a third friend to be excluded.​
  • When friends take part in a “tradition,” or an event or activity that certain people in a group are used to doing together.​
  • When you have said no in the past.
  • When you have had a rift with someone. If the other friend isn’t comfortable seeing you, you may be excluded from a group activity.

Friends may also exclude you when they have an issue with you of some sort. Some people are not good at expressing their feelings and behave in a childish manner rather than dealing with a situation directly. If this is the case, you can try discussing it with your friend. If your pal denies there is a problem or refuses to work it out, you may need to accept that they have moved on from you or they only want you for convenience. Maybe because you’re a good listener and give the best advice even though she/he doesn’t follow and give them hopes or raise their self-esteem.

Other times, exclusion occurs when the dynamics of a group change, such as when new members come on board. Again, you can talk about it with your friends but they may be too embarrassed or ignorant of their behavior to make a change.

Do some soul searching before leaving a friendship when you get excluded. If you’re feeling left out, the obvious answer is to talk it out with your friends like I did, but talk it our with the one that listens and understands your situation and make sure you haven’t assumed too much about the relationship. Perhaps you thought you were good friends when in fact you haven’t known each other that long. Try continually meeting new friends so that you have different people in your life.

If, however, you are being excluded from good friends, this is a clear message that there is a problem with the friendship. Try discussing it with your friends. If they do not acknowledge your feelings, accept the fact that your friendship may have run its course. Saying goodbye to friends is never easy, but you deserve respect, to be treated well and to be surrounded by good energies that make you enjoy life.



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